{"id":79,"date":"2014-10-20T13:45:38","date_gmt":"2014-10-20T20:45:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sombermoose.com\/?p=79"},"modified":"2025-09-08T10:10:46","modified_gmt":"2025-09-08T17:10:46","slug":"how-to-root-for-the-ducks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sombermoose.com\/index.php\/2014\/10\/20\/how-to-root-for-the-ducks\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Root For The Ducks"},"content":{"rendered":"

I recently watched the Duck\/Huskie football game\u00a0with a couple of close and dear relatives who happen to be Beaver fans. This kind of division\u00a0can happen in the best of families. At any rate, I was concerned that the situation might be stressful for them as they are unaccustomed to rooting for the Ducks. I provided them with the following primer to help ease their discomfort. I hope that you, too, might find this useful.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Throughout the day of the game, and especially during the game, you
    \nneed to occasionally and randomly shout \u201cGoDucks!\u201d at the top of your
    \nlungs. Shout this anytime anyone in the room does anything, like
    \ncoming back from the bathroom, applauding a good play, sneezing, or
    \ndoubling over from an acute appendicitis attack.<\/li>\n
  2. If the Ducks defense does something good, say \u201cAlright! Don Pellum is
    \na stud!\u201d<\/li>\n
  3. If the Ducks defense does something bad, scream \u201cWhose idea was it
    \nto hire that idiot Pellum?\u201d<\/li>\n
  4. Regardless of whether the offense or defense is playing, it\u2019s appropriate
    \npretty much anytime to pump your fist and say \u201cAlright, Marcus!\u201d. Don\u2019t
    \ntry to use his last name. Even his parents don\u2019t know how to say it.<\/li>\n
  5. If the Ducks score, jump around and high-five everybody as if you\u2019d
    \nnever seen a touchdown before. Please remember that in the 90\u2019s, this
    \nwas true.<\/li>\n
  6. If the other team scores, first let out a stream of profanity (or random
    \nwords with many consonants), and then turn to your neighbor and say,
    \n\u201cWhose idea was it to hire that idiot Pellum?\u201d<\/li>\n
  7. Throughout the game, chew your nails, fidget, pace, and look really
    \nworried, as if a flock of fruit-eating seagulls was flying through your
    \nkitchen over your brownie batter. If the Ducks lose, keep this up for a
    \nweek. If the Ducks win, jump up and down and scream for about three
    \nminutes, and then start thinking about next week while chewing your
    \nnails, fidgeting, pacing, and looking really worried, as if a flock of fruiteating
    \nseagulls was flying through your kitchen over your brownie batter<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I recently watched the Duck\/Huskie football game\u00a0with a couple of close and dear relatives who happen to be Beaver fans. This kind of division\u00a0can happen in the best of families. At any rate, I was concerned that the situation might be stressful for them as they are unaccustomed to rooting for the Ducks. I provided them with the following primer to help ease their discomfort. I hope that you, too, might find this useful. Throughout the day of the game, and especially during the game, you need to occasionally and randomly shout \u201cGoDucks!\u201d at the top of your lungs. Shout this anytime anyone in the room does anything, like coming back from the bathroom, applauding a good play, sneezing, or […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pgc_sgb_lightbox_settings":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-79","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-moose"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sombermoose.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sombermoose.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sombermoose.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sombermoose.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sombermoose.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=79"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/sombermoose.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1466,"href":"https:\/\/sombermoose.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions\/1466"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sombermoose.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=79"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sombermoose.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=79"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sombermoose.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=79"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}