Irrefutably solid evidence of defective card decks has recently been found in the normally peaceful city of Springfield Oregon. Kind, upstanding, sweet human beings have apparently been victimized by this horrendous failure of decks of playing cards to function appropriately.
While those who hosted recent card games appear not to be directly involved in the devious plot, their victims have none the less been deeply emotionally damaged by this sudden outbreak of severely defective playing cards. The victims are certainly worthy of sympathy, and rematches with non-defective decks.